From the Waters of Lethe
by Scoundrel-Vagabond
Summary: After a battle with the Brotherhood Rogue finds herself plagued by dreams that send her on a quest to find the truth, but the truth is rarely just and always brutal. With her newfound knowledge can Rogue ever be the same? Will she want to be?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any X-Men characters appearing in this story, they are the property of: Marvel Comics, 20th Century Fox, Stan Lee and a whole bunch of other people none of which include myself. This has been written for purely recreational purposes, I make no money from this so please don't sue.

"A good memory is often a great help; but knowing when to forget things sometimes counts for more."

-Philander C. Johnson

"In plucking the fruit of memory one runs the risk of spoiling its bloom."

-Joseph Conrad

"Ah tell me not that memory

Sheds gladness o'er the past;

What is recalled by faded flowers

Save that they did not last?"  
-Letitia Landon

* * *

Rogue clutched her head as she rested it on her knees trying, in vain, to stave off the onslaught of memories from the mutant she had absorbed.

Neither the X-Men nor the Brotherhood could claim a decisive victory, both sides retreated with their wounded already preparing themselves for their next encounter.

The unexpected addition of a powerful mutant called Mesmero tipped the fight on the Brotherhood's side and had Rogue not knocked him out by absorbing his powers they could have been a lot worse off.

Still Mesmero had tricked Cyclops into blasting Iceman into unconsciousness before Beast had taken him out.

Storm and Logan had congratulated Rogue on a job well done but the platitudes did little to ease Rogue's emotional upheaval.

Mesmero's powers had already been lost to her and now only his memories remained imprinted in her psyche.

Arriving back at the Institute Scott and Bobby were both left in the med bay under the watchful eye of Hank McCoy to sleep off their injuries.

Rogue slipped away to the inner sanctum that was her room. After the attack on the school she had brought up the dangers of sharing a room with others and after little thought was given a room off the teacher's wing complete with a bathroom.

Peeling off her filthy uniform Rogue stepped into the shower and gave a low moan as the hot water caressed and soothed her bruised body. Pulling on a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved shirt Rogue wrapped herself in her comforter and welcomed the sweet oblivion of sleep.

* * *

_"She can…remember nothing…High risk…threat." A woman's voice; dim and foggy as if she were a great distance away._

_"5,000 dollars…affects permanent?" Same woman again, she sounded vaguely distressed._

_"Of course, I do good work…New memories…foster family in Mississippi paid as well? …What should I call her?" A man's voice, much clearer than the first. My voice?_

_"…Marie…"

* * *

_

Rogue sat up suddenly, panting and covered in a clammy sweat. The woman's voice still echoed in her mind. "Marie".

Trembling slightly Rogue made her way back to the bathroom. A glance at her alarm clock told her she only had slept three hours. The time was now four-thirty in the morning.

* * *

A half an hour and another shower found Rogue in the gym as she stretched and prepared for her morning exercises before she had to commute to class.

"Why are you up so early, Marie?"

Startled, Rogue jumped even as she realized who had snuck up on her.

"Couldn't sleep, Logan. Besides I have class at ten anyway so I didn't see the point in wasting time. The professahs probably gonna want ta talk to us about last night and it'll take me a little ova an hour to git ta school."

"You wouldn't need to travel so far if you would've just taken classes at WCC." Logan growled, pleased that he could rehash an old argument.

Rogue sighed. She had been accepted to NYU and had enrolled despite the numerous protests Logan made. Ororo and Charles had supported her decision but Logan never seemed to get tired of arguing the same point over and over.

"Logan we've had this discussion before and my position is tha same as its always been. Ah'm studying at NYU and that's final."

Logan seemed to go temporarily deaf as he loudly changed the subject.

"As long as you've got so much time to kill, kid, show me what one-eye's been teaching ya."

Rogue smiled broadly, for all his posturing she knew that Logan was very proud of her fighting skills. It was just another of their daily rituals to start the morning with a spar.

Logan stood patiently waiting for Rogue to make her move. He never had to wait long as she was prone to being impatient. A fast high kick to Logan's face set him in motion, he grabbed her leg and twisted it sharply to the right.

Unfazed Rogue did exactly as taught and rolled with the twist and when released aimed a crushing blow to Logan's right kneecap. For anyone else this would have meant a dislocated knee and weeks of rehab, for Logan it was little more than an annoyance that slowed him down and gave Rogue the opportunity to try and end the battle early.

Unfortunately Rogue underestimated Logan's recovery time and took the full force of a blow to her solar-plexus.

Reeling and short of breath Rogue backed up a small distance to prepare for an offensive attack.

Sure enough Logan pressed his advantage and threw a cross punch that, if it had connected, would have ended the fight.

But what Rogue lacked in raw strength she more than made up for with agility. Ducking, Rogue twisted her body in under Logan's still outstretched arm and used his momentum against him as she slammed him into the metal walls with a sickening clang.

Slightly stunned Logan was too slow to dodge the ungloved hand that briefly pressed to his face. The whole maneuvers had taken less than 15 seconds.

Shaking and slightly nauseous from the energy transfer Logan looked at Rogue, eyes comically wide.

Rogue was equally shocked. She had, on occasion, beaten Logan during a sparring session but her execution of the takedown had been flawless and as natural to her as breathing; an automatic reflex.

"That new mutant you absorbed sticking 'round to show you some things, kid?"

"Apparently." Still winded her southern drawl came out a bit thicker than usual. Logan grinned wolfishly, Rogue sighed. Sometimes she wondered if Logan actually _enjoyed_ losing to her.

"Well Rogue you've still got half an hour 'till practice starts and since you beat me so quick you have _more_ than enough time to give me three miles on the treadmill."

And sometimes she didn't.

* * *

27 minutes, 3.1 miles later and Rogue was impatiently waiting for practice to start.

She didn't have long to wait though because at that moment Cyclops, Nightcrawler, and Storm entered the room soon followed by Beast, Colossus, and Iceman. Bobby and Piotr seemed to share the same ridiculously horrible case of bed head.

Scott really didn't look all that much better, his usual clean-shaven well -organized appearance was forgone for a man with a weeks worth of stubble and uncombed hair.

Rogue sighed internally. Although Scott was doing much better than he had been in the four months following Jean's death he still was only a shadow of the man he had been with her.

Storm's voice sapped Rogue out of her inner musings. 'Ro had been given Scott's position as team leader after a simple recruitment mission had taken a decidedly nasty turn when Scott had failed to perform adequately.

"Today we are going to run the standard obstacle course. Beast you're teamed with Colossus. Cyclops with Iceman, Nightcrawler you're with Rogue and Wolverine is with me. Keep in mind we are all going for our personal best times. The pair who finishes last will head the training of the other students today."

Storm paused as a shudder rattled the group. They all hated teaching gym.

"Kurt you are restricted to 'ports with a 7 foot radius. Logan, Scott please try to limit your destructive tendencies."

Rogue sidled up to Kurt.

"'Morning, Kurt."

"Guten tag, Rogue."

"I've got class all day, so Ah don't really want to be a gym teacher today. What d'ya say we show these ol' folk how much faster and more agile we are?"

Kurt grinned, he enjoyed working with Rogue, she was a good compliment for his acrobatics- quick on her feat and fearless.

"Ja, I am thinking dat ze Volverine vud make a very gut gym teacher."

He and Rogue shared a brief smile before Storm gave the voice command for the simulation to begin.

"Remember, the last pair to finish gets to teach gym!"

Immediately all eight mutants found themselves under attack.

Nightcrawler leapt up the wall and teleported to the nearest turret ripping wires from its' base as he kept moving. Rogue stayed on the ground keeping the attention of the lasers away from her partner. Quickly disabling the three most immediate laser canons in the same fashion Nightcrawler rejoined Rogue on the floor sparing a second to glance at the competition.

Storm and Cyclops had evidently fried most of the remaining turrets while Beast and Colossus physically dismantled the rest.

Any other observations were cut off when he felt a body collide with his own. Rogue smirked at him.

"Keep yoah head in the game, blue. We've still got a ways ta go."

Nightcrawler teleported both he and Rogue 7 feet closer to their goal. The place where they had been sprawled now a pile of smoldering metal.

"Zame to you , Fraeulein."

Sprinting closer to their goal Rogue and Kurt shared a groan as they entered the part of the course that Bobby had dubbed 'the-pyschotic-spinny-poles-of-spikey-sharp-death'. The bladed poles made a faint 'whooshing sound as they all spun with different speeds at different heights.

Kurt was in his element; bobbing and weaving between the blades 'porting away from the ones he couldn't dodge. Rogue performed admirably using every last move she had ever gotten Nightcrawler to teach her combined with several years of gymnastics classes. She dove over a blade aimed at her kneecaps rolling head-over-heels into a crouching position that she easily began running from.

Almost caught up with Nightcrawler Rogue failed to register the presence of another blade until it was almost at her waist. Caught unaware Rogue reacted on instinct leaping up into what she instinctively knew to be a 'tiger crouch' Rogue landed on the still spinning blade in a crouch before flipping off the blade and moving out of the danger zone.

Kurt stood stock-still, stunned by the ease with which Rogue had moved. _He_ hadn't taught her _that_. One second he had been preparing to port her out of harms way and the next she was standing alongside him.

Still puzzling over recent developments Kurt was vaguely aware of being dragged over the 'finish line'.

Rogue, who had just finished doing a victory dance, turned to Kurt in bemusement.

"Why tha long face Kurt, we won! An' Ah think tha' we jus' beat tha course record." Kurt's frown deepened for a moment, 'Wasn't she aware of what she had done?' before he forced a smile on his face.

"Ja Rogue, you did gut but ze horribul dhanzing scared me silent."

"Oh you're a funny man 'crawler, a reg-u-lah comedian. You an' Bobby should tour togetha' ya'll would be a riot."

Turning away from the smug German Rogue was disappointed to find that she had missed the others finish. It was always a pleasure to watch the original X-Men go through the sets; they were good at what they did. She contented herself with watching Piotr and Bobby argue over who had finished last.

"I don't know when your last check-up was Colossus but you _obviously_ need glasses, anyone could see that me and Mr. Summers were done way before you!"

"Nyet, perhaps you crost the line before Beast and me but Cyclops didn't cross until _after_ we did. Rules were the _pairs_ had to complete the course."

"As Scott, Hank and I all have to teach both you and Bobby may instruct the children today, Piotr." 'Ro saw Logan smirking out of the corner of her eye and she smiled broadly. "and Logan can supervise the both of you."

Turning to face Rogue and Kurt Storm was greeted by a dissipating cloud of brimstone.

"Aww c'mon Miss Munroe! How come Rogue and Mr. Wagner get to skip out on the work?"

"Don't worry Bobby, when I catch those two they'll receive whatever unpleasant task Logan can think of."

Bobby and Piotr shared a smirk, Logan always came up with the worst tasks.

* * *

Up on the third floor of the Institute Rogue and Kurt parted ways each congratulating themselves on skipping out on the work.

After her third shower in 7 hours Rogue made her way downstairs using every ounce of God-given stealth she possessed to avoid getting caught. If she knew 'Ro, which after an unfortunate training accident she knew her _very_ well, Ororo would leave the division of chores to Logan which was good for her and pretty sucky for Kurt.

Opting to pick up breakfast on the way to school Rogue made her way to the garage. As a congratulations-you-made-it-to-college gift the Professor had sprung for cars for the five mutants who had graduated.

Slipping behind the wheel of her 2006 Infiniti G36 Rogue gave a sigh of relief. She was home-free.

Tap. Tap.

'Aw, hell…'

" 'Lo Logan, I was just on my way ta class, is there something Ah kin help ya'll with?"

"Well kid, seeing as how you've still got almost 3 hours until your class starts I figure you and I might just have ourselves a little talk."

"What on 'arth about' Logan?" Rogue distantly noted how it was a shame that she wasn't an actress, her innocent Southern-Belle performances was academy award worthy.

"Real cute. When you get back tonight you get the honor and the pleasure of making sure all the little ones are all tucked in their beds and stay there. Any mishaps on their part are your responsibility. Oh and jus' because I'm a fair guy your partner in crime can give you a hand."

Rogue sighed, Logan was pretty much condemning her to a night of no sleep and a day of triple shot espressos.

"Sure thang Logan, am Ah free ta go now or do you have more sadistic urges to satisfy?"

"Nah, I think I'll save the rest for gym class. Oh and before I forget 'Ro packed you some breakfast and lunch."

Logan shoved the paper bag through the open windows brusquely before he awkwardly shambled away.

Rogue watched him go with a smile on her face. No one ever believed her when she called Logan sweet.

"Thanks…"

Logan merely grunted.

* * *

****

A/N: This is my first posting for the X-Men The Movie category. I never read the comics but I am familiar with the basics and I watched TAS and Evo religiously you can expect familiar characters and story plots but with numerous twists. Essentially I'm doing what the writers did for the movies and the TV shows—taking the basic history and throwing it into a blender.

Next Posting Date: Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005. This is subject to change.

This is my first posting for the X-Men The Movie category. I never read the comics but I am familiar with the basics and I watched TAS and Evo religiously you can expect familiar characters and story plots but with numerous twists. Essentially I'm doing what the writers did for the movies and the TV shows—taking the basic history and throwing it into a blender.Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005. This is subject to change. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any X-Men characters appearing in this story, they are the property of: Marvel Comics, 20th Century Fox, Stan Lee and a whole bunch of other people none of which include myself. This has been written for purely recreational purposes, I make no money from this so please don't sue.

"The memory should be specially taxed in youth, since it is then that it is strongest and most tenacious. But in choosing the things that should be committed to memory the utmost care and forethought must be exercised; as lessons well learnt in youth are never forgotten."

-Arthur Schopenhauer

"As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven, it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape."

-John Lancaster Spalding

"The past is never there when you try to go back. It exists, but only in memory. To pretend otherwise is to invite a mess."

-Chris Cobbs

Pulling into the garage around 10:30 that night Rogue rested her head against the steering wheel doubting, not for the first time, her sanity in regards to her chosen courses.

* * *

"Professah, may I speak with yah?"

Charles Xavier put down the files he had been reading and gestured for Rogue to have a seat.

"Of course Rogue. What seems to be troubling you?"

"Well, yah know all 'bout how I'm going to a NYU this fall an' how I want to get a major in foreign language education so Ah can help teach…" She trailed off uncertain how to continue.

"Have you changed your mind?"

"No! No. It's jus'…you remembah how we talked about tha people that I've absorbed and how they stay with me even afta' time has past?"

Charles frowned in remembrance and nodded. Rogue continued.

"Their knowledge is still in mah head like it's a part of me, I can't block it out like we do the personalities. When I do my history homework I know thing I neva learned, I get knowledge from the psyches in my head an' it feels like I'm abusing my powers…like I'm cheating. I already speak French fluently and I have a grasp on Spanish but I was listening to Kurt the otha' day say his prayers and it wasn't until later that I realized he was praying in German." She paused and took a deep breath now she was finally approaching the reason why she was in the professor's office.

"I still want to go to NYU I still want to specialize in languages so I can teach here but I don't want to waste my time o' yoah money learning stuff that already comes natural to me. I'd like to CLEP out of my basic classes but I wanted to be sure that it isn't really cheating, is it?"

Rogue stopped and watched the professor warily as if she was expecting him to throw her out of his office. She allowed him a grand total of 4 seconds to respond before barreling on.

"…'cause I can't really control it. Ah've tried and tried and I study anyways and I always ignore the psyches during a test I know you're always going on about the code of ethics a telepath must stick ta but does that really count fo' me as I'm not a telepath? And its not as if I walk around telling people 'bout all the information in my head because I don't-"

Rogue's own necessity to breathe kept her from continuing.

The professor smiled at Rogue as if she were a favorite grandchild who had just said or done something particularly amusing.

"If you are quite finished Rogue I think that the fact that this troubles you is testament enough to the fact that you are not abusing the side effects of your gift.

To be quite frank Rogue after all the negative consequences of your power any good that can come of it should be savored.

Erik is not going to be sitting for whatever CLEP tests you take. Neither are Ororo, Logan, Mr. Drake nor Mr. Allerdyce. How you do on those tests and later on in college is entirely up to you."

Rogue looked like a huge burden had been lifted off of her shoulders. She shot the Professor a dazzling smile.

"Thank ya so much Professah yar always great help!"

Xavier smiled indulgently as he watched Rogue veritably dance out of his office. He shook his head in affectionate confusion. Even if he could read their minds he would never understand females, this was especially true for teenage females.

* * *

Rogue had successfully CLEPed out of French, 9 hours of German, 3 hours of Spanish and 3 hours of Japanese of which she had had an inexplicable urge to take. She had also tested out of almost half her general education credits giving her almost enough credits to count as a junior.

A 16 credit hour course load _with_ lab, danger room sessions, training to be an X-Man and substitute teaching at the Institute pretty much guaranteed that Rogue had no social life.

But that wasn't the problem tonight. No the problem tonight was going to be studying for her classes in between making sure the heathens of the Institute didn't blow it up while everyone else slept.

BAMF

The scent of Brimstone filled the car as Rogue tiredly shifted her head so that she could see the blue man sitting next to her.

"Hiya Kurt."

"Guten abend, Fraeulein." Kurt cocked his head as he took in her slumped posture.

"You know vat dey say Rogue, eef you can't do ze time don't commit ze crime."

"Yeah, yeah ain't you jus' a regular _ball_ o' sympathy." Kurt smiled and decided to take pity on Rogue.

"Tell you vat, you vatch ze children until one-thirty und _I_ vill vatch them un'til it iz time to train. How doz dat sound, hmm?"

"Like you're my guardian angel. Kurt I take back everything I eva said 'bout you not being a nice guy. Yah're my hero." Rogue stopped and considered her current position in her car and the vast distance between said car and the kitchen.

"Kurt,"

"Was?"

"You'd be an even betta' hero if you'd 'port us on up to tha kitchen."

Kurt placed one hand on Rogue, the other on her satchel and concentrated on the kitchen.

Rogue sat on the island relieved that she hadn't had to walk. Kurt on the other hand was not so delighted. He had underestimated the weight of Rogue's bag and had consequently dropped the heavy bag on his foot.

"Ach, mein Fuß!"

"Whoops, sorry Kurt, I forgot to warn yah."

"Zese are not books, zese are book-shaped rocks! How do you carry dem all day?"

"Ya get used to it. And stop whining. Logan's made you carry heavier things."

Kurt grinned at Rogue showing off his fanged teeth.

"So what was fo' suppa?"

"There's some salmon and baked potatoes. Or if you prefer there is also some macaroni and cheese with hot dogs." Rogue shot Kurt a withering glare and served herself a massive portion of the fish. _'I would really prefer some catfish but beggars can't be choosers.' _

"Rogue! Rogue! Kitty phased Billy halfway through a wall and left him there! Miss Munroe said to come to you."

Rogue sighed. Billy was Jaime's rubber tarantula that he liked to scare the girls with.

"Well Jaime, what were ya doin' with Billy that Kitty put him through a wall fer?"

Jaime shrugged and flushed slightly. "I was only fooling; I just put Billy in her bed. He gets lonely when there aren't other people around." An angelic smile did little to sway Rogue. She knew very well that Jamie Madrox could be a little hellion when he wanted to be.

"Awlright Jamie, lead tha way. Let's go rescue Billy."

Kurt smiled as he watched Rogue trudge off after the ever hyper Jamie Maddox. He walked over to where Rogue had been preparing her plate and finished adding all the heaping portions before putting it into the microwave.

* * *

Later that night after Rogue had eaten some and refueled she sat with Jones reading through the days notes while listen to him channel surf. Whenever she couldn't sleep she always tried to keep him some company while he watched TV.

She had been pleasantly surprised to find that the night had turned out to be a quiet one. The minor altercation between Kitty Pride and Jamie Madrox was really the only problem. Rogue supposed this had to do with the fear that the kids still harbored toward Logan. No one wanted to get on his bad side _ever _and they all knew that one of the quickest ways to get there would be to give her a hard time.

One-thirty came and went. Kurt stumbled downstairs with his hair defying gravity.

"Okay fraeulein, eet iz my turn to vatch ze children. Go to sleep und I vill see you at practice."

Rogue yawned and threw Kurt a grateful sleepy smile.

"Thanks Kurt."

* * *

_"...sorry Momma..." _

"…'kay...try again Rogue..."

"…'nother mission?"

"Destiny."

_"We'll need to bring her back..." _

"...no memory. Useless."

"...machine...work...her..."

"...my daughter..."

"...for the cause."

* * *

Magnetos voice echoed in the recesses of Rogue's mind as she woke up.

She knew all of the people in the two dreams. The first had been a voice that she was very familiar with-her own. The second was harder to place. Slightly more androgynous, more robotic.

Mystique? Perhaps.

In the second part the cultured tones of Erik Lehnsherr were easily identified along with the same voice from before. Rogue was almost sure that she was Mystique. Now this presented an entirely new dilemma for Rogue; aside from the altercation on the BlackBird Rogue had never had a one and one conversation with the shape shifter. So where then-

**'Rogue your presence is required in the Danger Room for morning exercises.'**

Charles Xavier's mental voice shook her from her musings.

A glance at the clock revealed that the time was 6:15 am. She had overslept!

"Fuck!"

Rogue flew around her room a whirlwind of chaos as she suited up in her customary work out outfit. Black pants and a long-sleeved shirt.

In the elevator on the way down to the lower levels Rogue was still getting ready pulling on gloves tying her shoes and pulling her hair back.

She entered the gym slightly winded and winced as she became aware of everyone staring at her, even Bobby and Piotr. Although Rogue was most certainly not a morning person she was never late for practice. Being an X-Man meant too much to her.

"Ah am so sorry ya'll. Ah fohgot ta set mah alarm last night."

"It's all right Rogue, it's happened to all of us at least once. Just don't let it happen twice."

Rogue smiled and nodded at Storm as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she was just grateful that she wasn't going to be in trouble two days in a row.

"Now as I've already informed the others, we are going to have a tournament style session today. The first round will be as follows: Cyclops versus Iceman, Beast versus Wolverine, Rogue versus Colossus and Nightcrawler versus me. The winners of the first round will advance to the next round until there is a final winner. We are fighting until our opponent is knocked out or they yield." Storm leveled Logan with a glare, "Do not cause any major damage to your opponent—we have to teach today. Powers will, of course, be allowed" An uneasy glance at Rogue so quick Rogue barely caught it. "I trust your discretion in their use."

The group entered the danger room together and found the simulation already in play.

A nondescript alley filled with dumpsters, shipping crates and plenty places to hide took the place of the steel walls. It was an alley that could have been found in any major city in the world.

This was just as much of an exercise in stealth as it was a test of combat skills. Each mutant would be placed in strategic corners opposite each other and depending on the discipline of the mutant there would either be a free-for-all brawl or a game of hide-and knock-out-your-opponent-from-behind.

Scott and Bobby got into their positions while the others who would not yet be competing adjourned to the Observation Deck. Rogue tensed as she watch the alley she knew that both men preferred offense but she also knew that Cyclops had years of experience and training on Iceman. Unless something drastic happened there would be no contest.

A thin beam of red light signaled the start of the fight. Cyclops blasted Iceman out of his hiding spot. A trail of freezing water vapor froze the damp pavement under Cyclops who, caught off guard, slipped.

Rogue was vaguely impressed. Bobby had been practicing quicker freezes and evidently the practice was paying off.

Iceman quickly started to freeze Cyclops' body to the ice but was prevented from doing so by another concussive blast courtesy of Scott's eye beams.

Iceman valiantly tried to stand only to be knocked down by an empty shipping pallet that Cyclops brought down over his head. Although dazed Iceman was smart enough to yield before he wouldn't be fit to attend his classes later in the day.

Scott helped Bobby stand and the two limped off to rest and watch the rest of the matches.

Beast and Wolverine took their cues from Storm and got into position.

Unlike the first match there was no clue that the fight had begun. A minute and a half of waiting and Logan appeared to tire. Prowling in the shadows he started to sniff out Beast's position.

The sound of cracking lumber caught the attention of the audience. Seconds later Wolverine was thrown out into clear view. He stood up and growled before charging back into the shadows. More crashing sounds were heard when—

**'Rogue may I speak to you in my office, now?'** Only Rogue's self-control kept her from jumping out of her skin. She sighed slightly, although phrased as a question it was unmistakably an order and Charles Xavier was not a man to disobey.

**'Of course Professor. I'll be up jus' as soon as I tell 'Ro.' **

**'I have already informed Ororo of my desire to see you.'**

Rogue glanced at Storm and was surprised to find her staring back. Storm jerked her head to the door and nodded.

Rogue took her cue to exit and left even as Logan was being pronounced victor.

* * *

When she reached the professor's office she debated on whether or not she should knock on the door. Not knocking was impolite, but it wasn't as if the professor didn't already know she was coming. In fact he probably knew she was standing outside his door looking like a fool with her had outstretched to knock.

**'Come in Rogue.'**

Charles watched as Rogue entered his office looking mildly sheepish, he gestured for her to have a seat.

"Rogue, this morning when I spoke to you telepathically I sensed great anxiety and confusion. Is there anything troubling you that I could help you with?"

Rogue sat frozen in the chair clutching the arms contemplating her options. She had never had cause to doubt the Professor's sincerity, no just the opposite really as all of Magneto's memories attested to Charles' general trustworthiness. Still, a voice in the back of her head was screaming at her not to trust him.

What should she tell him? Which instinct was the right one to listen to? Should she lie or tell the truth?

She decided to compromise "I just had a strange dream Professah, there's nothin' ta be worried 'bout."

Although his face remained impassive Rogue was left with the distinct feeling that she had disappointed him.

"Well that brings me to my next concern, why I had to give you a wake-up call, so-to-speak, to begin with. Since being added to the team you've never been late to a practice session. In fact according to Logan, Scott, and Ororo you're usually there before the rest of them. I am worried that you may be pushing yourself too much between your schooling and Danger Room sessions, perhaps—"

"I just forgot to set my alarm this morning, professor. I had a late night last night."

Charles smiled despite himself. Officially, he had heard about Rogue's escapades with Kurt yesterday when they failed to show for the debriefing. Unofficially they had loudly been projecting their plans right before they made their escape.

Bolstered by the Professor's renewed good spirits Rogue stood up trying to get out of his office as quickly as possible so she could analyze her dreams. "If that's all Professor, I have class today and I still have plenty of things to do…"

"Yes Rogue, that is all I wanted to discuss with you right now. Please remember that I am always available if you have need of me or simply wish for someone to talk to."

"Thank ya Professah."

As Rogue practically flew from his office Charles Xavier felt his smile melt away into a deep set worried frown.

Ever since the events that had taken place at Alkali Lake he had noticed that Rogue was projecting her thoughts and emotions less and less, even when he tried to scan the surface of her thoughts there was less and less readily available to gentle probing. More powerful scanning would reveal her thoughts easily but Rogue's growing resistance to telepaths troubled the professor greatly.

Charles sighed. There was little that he could do for Rogue if she did not wish for his help all he could do would be to wait until Rogue had come to terms with whatever was troubling her or sought his council, whichever came first.

Re-entering the Observation Deck Rogue looked down at the rest of the X-Men surveying their progress. She wasn't too surprised to find the room empty, she had been in the professor's office longer than she had anticipated. Rogue settled for some early morning stretching and a quick half-hour session in the gym. Her meeting with Xavier had robbed her of her strength and motivation.

What she really wanted to do was to march back upstairs and spill her guts all over the professor's priceless antique desk but all her instincts were screaming at her not to trust him.

Rogue always listened to her instincts above all else, they had gotten her to Canada and let her know that she could trust the Wolverine when she saw him in that bar in Laughlin; so if they told her to not even think about her dreams she would listen.

****

Next Posting Date: Sunday, February 13th, 2005


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own any X-Men characters appearing in this story, they are the property of: Marvel Comics, 20th Century Fox, Stan Lee and a whole bunch of other people none of which include myself. This has been written for purely recreational purposes, I make no money from this so please don't sue.

"Perhaps even these things, one day, will be pleasing to remember."

-Virgil

"A man's memory is bound to be a distortion of his past in accordance with his present interests, and the most faithful autobiography is likely to mirror less what a man was than what he has become.

-Fawn M. Brodie

"Your memory is a monster; you forget-it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you-and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you!"

-John Irving

* * *

After her workout Rogue made her escape from the Institute. Thankfully her attempts to avoid the occupants of the school were more successful today then yesterday—perhaps in part because no one was looking for her today.

She drove around the city aimlessly for a couple of hours a bit disconcerted that skipping school had come so naturally to her.

Stopping in at a pizzeria Rogue ate her healthy brunch, which consisted of a slice of pizza, a calzone and a large sweet tea.

At Washington Square Park Rogue sat at the arch and watched all the comings and goings sometimes recognizing some of the passersby as classmates.

* * *

_"Why have you failed to complete your mission?"_

_"Ah didn't fail. I retrieved all the Intel that I was dahrected ta retrieve."_

_"The subject is still alive."_

_"Momma, tha man is in a coma that he's likely neva to wake up from, what mo' d'ya want?"_

_"There is still a chance!"_

* * *

"...Rogue? Rogue!" An urgent voice shook Rogue from her clearest vision yet. She looked up confused and frustrated and was startled to find herself staring at a vaguely familiar face.

"Hey, welcome back to Earth. I've been cawling you forevuh, why weren't youse in class?"

As Rogue freed herself from the clutches of the fog that had captivated her mind she recognized that girl in front of her as one who shared many classes with her.

"Christina! Er…What are ya doin' here, shouldn't ya be in class?"

"I swear its like talking to a wall sometimes," Christina murmured to herself before continuing in a louder voice. "Class is over. You missed it. Have you been sitting here awl day?"

"Nah, I was jus' thinking. Ah didn't really feel lahke goin' ta class today so I wandered around fo' a bit. I've only been in tha park fer," Rogue glanced at her watch "four hours!"

She grinned weakly at Christina. "I'm shocked Ah wasn't mugged."

"If you were you wouldn't 'ave noticed."

"What was that?"

"Nothing mi'ja , listen because I'm such a good friend and all I'ma let 'chu borrow my notes and the lecture tapes. You didn't miss much but both Mendoza and Sampson hinted at pop quizzes for next class, you listen to the tapes and copy the notes and then bring 'em back down here on Thursday." The Puerto Rican girl paused for a moment before continuing on like Rogue had answered her.

"Keeping in trend wit this good friend theme it is my job to let youse know that it's getting dark and you know that neither of us want to stay in the park after dark, no?"

Rogue sighed as she got on her feet, wincing when she felt the familiar tingle of pins and needles that told her she had in fact been sitting for four hours.

"Good, now here take this. Don't forget to bring them back on Thursday or I'll head on up to Westchesta and find you myself."

With that she dumped her notebooks and her recorder with its' tapes in Rogue's arms.

"Vamanos mujer. I saw a hot dowg stand with our names on it.."

* * *

Once again alone Rogue drove in her car back to the Institute. Glad that rush hour was long over and the Saw Mill Parkway desolate Rogue thought about her little day-mare.

She found it hard to believe that the entire memory had taken three and a half hours to play out.

**BEEEEEP!**

"Oh, shit!" Rogue jerked the steering wheel sharply to the left barely missing the car on her right.

"That's it I'm pullin' ova. I'm not killing myself tonight."

She signaled and turned into the first exit she saw. The car idled in a McDonalds' parking lot as Rogue tried to process all her information.

_'All these dreams and flashback started after I absorbed that mutant, Mesmero. OK so what do I know about this guy? Well no shit, thanks to my 'gift' a whole hell of a lot. Everything from his shoe size to the fact that he prefers to wear his _equipment _on the right side...and let me stop there I'm scaring myself. _

He can create strong illusions, hypnotize and posses people. He also has strong shields that protect him from telepaths. So is it his memories that I keep flashing to? No that's not right. Mesmero was only in the first flashback the others, 'cept for the one with Erik, feel like my _memories that just don't have a place in my head. Also—_'

**Du du dududu**

'_Also the world seems to enjoy **interrupting **me whenever I get close to the truth!_'

Rogue picked up the phone and cut off "Go Mississippi" midway through the chorus.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Rogue it's Bobby."

"Oh, hey. What can I do fo' ya?"

Bobby hesitated; he and Rogue were no longer together. They hadn't been since about a week after Jean's death. The decision had been mutual and the break-up amicable but still he wasn't quite comfortable talking to her alone—even if it _was_ on the phone.

"Ororo was asking about you, she wanted to know when you were getting in and whether or not you wanted her to save you some dinner. Logan hasn't started interrogating anyone for your whereabouts yet but it's only a matter of time. He's been growling and sniffing around—more so than usual" Bobby gave an unconvincing laugh he sounded more worried than he was letting on.

"I'm still about 20 minutes from the Institute. You can tell 'Ro thanks but no thanks, I got some food with some friends—that's why I'm running late."

"OK, that's great I'll let her know." The silence between the two seemed to grow more tense and uncomfortable even via the phone. Rogue braced herself; she knew what was coming now—the same thing that had occurred in almost every conversation that had taken place between the two of them after their breakup. "You know Rogue, we may not be together anymore but still…I just want to let you know…"

"I know Bobby, thanks. I'll be back in a little bit. You can tell Mother Hen that I'll be there soon and he can go grab a beer or something."

Bobby laughed again, an easier and more genuine laugh. "I'll pass Rogue, I like my life thank you very much. You know you're that only one who could even come close to getting away with something like that."

"Hmm, ya might be right 'bout that. I'll see ya'll in a bit Bobby."

"Sure thing Rogue."

Sitting in her room later that night Rogue settled herself in for a long evening of notes and lectures that would serve as her penance for skipping all her classes earlier.

'If I'm lucky maybe I'll be up all night with no time to have any of these dreams.'

Four and a half hours later Rogue wasn't counting herself nearly so lucky. If Mendoza and Sampson weren't so anal about what they tested on she would have been asleep hours ago, but because they were Rogue would have no time for sleep tonight as she was now due at the gym extra early today to make up for yesterday.

* * *

"Now, his neck is vulnerable! Bring your foot down and snap it!"

* * *

The voice Rogue had come to recognize as Mystique's slammed through Rogue's mental barriers with the force of a sledgehammer.

Her body responded to the command even as her mind continued to process it. The android lay beneath her foot its' simulated neck at an unnatural angle. As she continued to stare in horror the image of the broken body flickered and then faded away entirely.

Rogue stepped back and looked up at the Observation Deck in alarm—she hadn't given the order for the program to terminate, had she?

No she hadn't. Assembled in the Observation Deck was the entire senior team of X-Men. Call it woman's intuition but Rogue didn't think this was going to end well at all.

"Rogue," The sound of Ororo Munroe's voice over the intercoms broke the silence in the Danger Room. "we need to talk."

Still drenched with sweat Rogue faced her interrogators looking out of her element in the Professor's office.

"I don't see what I did wrong, Professah, Ah follow'd all the rules jus' like I do any time I use the Danger Room."

"Rogue we are not here today to discuss whether or not you follow the safety protocols of the Danger Room. To be quite frank Rogue, we're—" Scott jumped in cutting off Xavier.

"We're worried about you Rogue, we've all noticed that you haven't been yourself and we just want to do our best to help you with whatever you're going through right now."

Rogue blinked and starred at Scott, it was the most she had heard him say at once in a long time.

"Ah appreciate y'alls concern but there isn't anything wrong with meh. So if that's all I'm gonna go get ready to substitute today."

She turned and made her way to the exit.

"Park it, kid. You're going to siddown and listen to what we have to say. No running off today."

'_Course not Logan, you're the professional runner of the Institute._' Rogue beat back her vicious, sarcastic thoughts and sat down gingerly as she turned her attention back to the professor. Based on the look on Xavier's face her had caught her last thought.

'_Aw hell_.'

"Rogue we were going to have this conversation at a later date but recent events have forced use to accelerate our timetable. If you would be so kind as to wait a moment while—"

BAMF

Kurt ported into the room with Hank at his side. Logan wrinkled his nose in disgust at the scent of brimstone.

"Professor, I got ze tape you requested."

"Thank you Kurt, have a seat you two. Now Rogue everyone here has come to me at least twice in the past week regarding strange behavior on your part. I had Hank and Kurt pull up many of the instances that were caught on camera for your benefit. Storm if you would."

Storm stepped forward and placed the cassette into a TV in the side of the room. Rogue watched with a feeling of both mounting dread and disbelief as she saw herself in the Danger Room not five minutes ago snap the neck of her simulated opponent, two days ago balanced on the broad side of a blade, in a hallway snapping at a younger student who was unfortunate enough to cross her path, starring off into space for periods of time and brooding in the kitchen at unholy hours of the night holding what appeared to be conversations with herself.

She swallowed. What the hell could someone say in their own defense when ambushed with such large quantities of evidence against them? The dread and disbelief quickly snowballed into self-righteous anger. She was being spied on in what was supposed to be her home!

"This isn't all Rogue, printouts of the Danger Room log sheets show that you averaged upwards of 140 hours in the past month alone. I'm worried you're pushing yourself too hard, at the rate you're going you'll burn out before next year. It just isn't—"

"You've been taking advantage of the security systems to _spy _on me?"

"No Rogue, of course not, you misunderstand our intentions, we were merely concerned with your wellbeing and monitored your behavior closer as a product of that concern."

"And now you expect meh to throw myself at y'all confessing some deep inna turmoil I've been goin' through in silence!" Rogue stood, now thoroughly exasperated, all attempts at a calm façade forgone for the more tempting option of yelling at the professor.

"Guess what yoah little plan backfired on y'all! You can take that tape and shove it up your collective asses for all I care but I sure as _hell _won't stick around in a place where my every action is dissected for even the most remote _hint_ of mental instability!"

Charles Xavier in all his maddening calm intervened again as the voice of reason. "Rogue where would you go, back to the streets? Back to hitchhiking? No. The Institute is a much safer place for you we can help you develop your gift and—"

"'Develop mah gift'? 'Develop mah gift'! You mean fo' me ta continue developing my gift in the same way it's been 'developing' for the past eight months? Oh wait; there's _been_ no development of my _curse _at all in the time I've been here. A quick physical by Dr. Grey, a brief mind probe by the great and illustrious Professah Xavier and a pair o' gloves is all I eva got in reference to mah powers. So I've gotta say Professah, if that's the kinda _aid_ ya offer to yoah students it's no wonder why St. John took off when he got the chance."

Rogue quickly took a deep breath and surveyed the damage her words had done. Scott, 'Ro, Kurt and Hank seemed to have been shocked silent as they starred at Rogue, the easy-going, shy southerner they thought they had gotten to know was nowhere to be found. In her place was a person that they didn't recognize.

Charles Xavier looked cowed and perhaps even the least bit guilty. Rogue knew, through Erik's first hand experience that the professor would shortly regain his footing, so to speak, and come up with an appropriate rebuttal. She decided to quit while she was ahead and take her exit while she could.

Rogue immediately met an impasse in the form of the Wolverine.

Logan looked down at Rogue, his eyes uncharacteristically soft. He had had no idea how Rogue felt about the Institute and was now feeling pretty guilty about ambushing her as they had done.

Who really cared if she was acting a little different? She was a teenager wasn't that a carte blanche to act as moody as she pleased? Did it really matter that she was a bit more aggressive in combat—that was good, it'd keep her safe—or that she was clocking more and more hours in the Danger Room? _He_ clocked in about six hours a day. It was necessary if he wanted to avoid killing some of the more annoying adolescents he had come to be responsible for.

Rogue stood in front of Logan and asked him to move. When it became apparent that Logan had no intention of moving she moved to the right to walk around him Logan sprang to life and moved to his left to once again block her path. Distantly some part of his conscious was jeering at him for becoming Scott 'Stick up my ass' Summers but he would deal with that later, right now he had to keep the kid he had grown to care about from running off.

"Logan, move." He thought it was an impressive growl, and as Logan was an excellent judge of such matters, the fact that he was impressed spoke volumes.

"Sorry, kid—"

"I'm _not_ a child, I am a twenty-three year old adultand I expect ta be treated as such. So when Ah ask ya to move, please move."

"You're 23?" Logan started to laugh despite himself. "Darlin' you couldn't be a day over 18 and that's pushing it. Face it you're not going anywhere until you've calmed down some and talked with us. I promised to keep you safe and I'll do it even if it means keeping you safe from yerself."

"Yeah Logan, 'cause you've done such a bang up job o' keeping meh safe in the past. Anyways seeing as how I _am _of age Ah'm gonna leave. You voyeurs can do whatever ya please but the next time you're lookin' fo' something to get off ta might I recommend a porno rather than spying on your 'kids' and calling it help."

Three steps passed Logan Rogue clutched her head as wave after wave of unrelenting pain washed against the shores of her metal barriers eroding them and inundating her with images, sounds, smells; memories. Four steps and she collapsed crumpling to the floor like a lame animal.

* * *

****

A/N: Well aren't you all lucky I got home and checked on this chapter and found that there were three more pages to it. Sorry again for forgetting my next posting date, let's hope I don't miss another one.

Next Posting Date: Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005. Hopefully. If I remember…

Well aren't you all lucky I got home and checked on this chapter and found that there were three more pages to it. Sorry again for forgetting my next posting date, let's hope I don't miss another one. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any X-Men characters appearing in this story, they are the property of: Marvel Comics, 20th Century Fox, Stan Lee and a whole bunch of other people none of which include myself. This has been written for purely recreational purposes, I make no money from this so please don't sue.**

"_Human memory is a marvelous but fallacious instrument... The memories which lie within us are not carved in stone; not only do they tend to become erased as the years go by, but often they change, or even increase by incorporating extraneous features."  
_-Primo Levi

"_Our dreams must be stronger than our memories. We must be pulled by our dreams, rather than pushed by our memories."_

-Jesse Jackson

"_I've never tried to block out the memories of the past, even though some are painful. I don't understand people who hide from their past. Everything you live helps to make you the person you are now."_

-Sophia Loren

* * *

"Chuck, you didn't…?"

"I had nothing to do with Rogue's collapse but I have been fearing something like this for sometime. Kurt, Hank if you would."

Beast and Nightcrawler had already sprung into action appearing almost instantly at Rogue's side. Kurt tried to take Rogue from Logan's arms only to find himself growled at. Pulling his arms back in the universal 'I surrender' gesture Kurt settled with porting both Logan and Rogue down to the Infirmary seconds later he came back and made the journey once more with Beast.

Logan, Ororo, Scott and Kurt stood anxiously outside the infirmary waiting for any news on the southern girl. Professor Xavier and Beast were both inside running diagnostics on the unconscious X-Man in training.

"Argh! I _hate_ waiting."

"Please Logan, have patience. Charles and Hank are doing the best they can. The only thing we can do is wait."

Logan merely growled in acknowledgement and went back to pacing.

Ten minutes later Xavier rolled out of the room his face lined with worry. No words were spoken as he joined the vigil.

Twenty minutes after that Hank exited the room. He looked at the assembled adults and sighed. "I must admit I am at a loss to explain exactly why Rogue collapsed as she appears to have sustained no substantial physical injuries aside from the trauma one would expect to see after a fall to the ground."

"Thank you Hank, I am sorry to say that I did not think you would find a physical reason for Rogue's ailment."

"So what you're saying is Rogue went down like a French prizefighter with a glass jaw and you've got no clue as to why?" Logan growled irritably, the animal in him considered Marie a part of his territory and any attack made on her was by extension an attack on him.

"Not exactly, Logan. As I said before I've been fearing a reaction similar to this since you've brought Rogue's behavior to my attention. It would seem, and I would have to run a more thorough diagnostic to be completely sure, but it seems that Rogue is in the process of breaking down mental barriers that are blocking memories."

The collected adults swallowed that piece of information for a moment before Storm broke the charged silence. "Professor, these blocks would have to have been put up by another mutant, a telepath…I thought that Logan was the first mutant she encountered—" Logan tersely cut Ororo off. "I was."

"Logan how could you possibly know that for certain? Has Rogue ever explicitly—"

"Listen, One-Eye," Wolverine moved swiftly and positioned himself directly in front of Scott, "Marie would have told me. She knows she can tell me anything."

"If Rogue is indeed having difficulties in accessing memories perhaps it is because the mutant she encountered does not wish for her to remember their interlude."

"That is one distinct possibility Hank and one we cannot afford to disregard."

"Do ve _vant_ Rogue to recover dese memories? Is eet possibul zat Rogue herself blocked dem to protect herself?"

"While it is _possible_ I don't feel it is probable, these barriers have a distinctly alien feel to her mindscape."

"Alien?' Logan snorted "Ya mean like little green men from Mars?"

Despite the serious nature of their situation Kurt and Logan shared identical smirks.

"I believe, my friends, that the Professor is means 'Alien' in the context of the barriers being foreign to the mind of young Rogue rather than them being miniature space men from the cosmos."

"Beast is correct. It is my belief that these mental shields were put into place by a mutant of significant power."

Storm, who had been standing next to Nightcrawler staring through the window at the supine figure that was Rogue , shifted her attention back to Xavier and the others.

"That still leaves us with the same problems: Who put these barriers up, why are they coming down now, what information was being blocked, how are we going to help Rogue get through all this, and will she even want out help when she wakes up?"

Charles sighed and rolled his wheelchair closer to Storm and shared her view, "…Those are indeed the questions but as of yet none here are privy to their answers…"

* * *

"_Rogue" Her mother's voice over the intercom snapped Rogue from her restless sleep. "Rogue, report to the briefing room in five minutes."_

_Rogue sighed and rolled out of bed, she was slightly puzzled her last mission had been two nights ago—Magneto usually gave her about five days before calling on her again. _

"_Mornin' Momma, mornin' Irene."_

"_Good morning Rogue, how did you sleep?"_

"_Like an angel Irene—a fallen angel, but an angel still." Rogue grinned in good humor before settling into the neutral expression she considered to be her 'game face'._

"_What's the mission this time? What's Mags need this time? Something old? Something new? Something stolen? Someone bruised?"_

_She leaned back in her seat and propped her feet on the table. Without missing a beat Destiny used her cane to knock Rogue's feet off the table._

"_This isn't a mission for Erik, and I do wish you would demonstrate a bit more respect for your elders child, this mission is a favor from you to me. There is a person that I need you to take care of." Mystique said delicately._

"_Any preference as to how it's done?"_

"_Yes, actually." Rogue frowned, usually on assignments like this she was given free reign to be as creative as she liked—as long as she wasn't caught."_

"_But we'll get to that later. First the mark." Mystique slid a folder across the table to her daughter. Rogue opened it and found a picture of a girl—she was pretty enough in that stereo-typical blond-hair, blue-eyes way._

"_Her name is Carol Susan Jane Danvers, also known as Ms. Marvel," Rogue bit back a snicker "she is a captain in the U.S. Air Force dealing chiefly in intelligence, currently she is on loan to S.H.I.E.L.D. and has had dealings in the past with Interpol," All three woman shared identical grimaces—none of them had any fondness for either organization._

"_Danvers, in collusion with S.H.I.E.L.D., has recently become involved in an ongoing investigation that will compromise us in the future." Rogue glanced at Destiny who, despite being blind, seemed to see the gesture and nodded to the unspoken question. _

"_As such she needs to be dealt with as soon as possible."_

_Rogue mulled the Intel over for a moment before speaking. "And what of the investigation itself, am I to retrieve whatever documents they currently have before shutting Danvers down?"_

"_No I will be dealing with that part of the mission. Your only concern is the elimination of Carol Danvers."_

"_I see…any particular reason why I can't just put a bullet through her brain?"_

"_Danvers is a mutant."_

'OK no surprise there, hence the whole _"Ms. Marvel"_ thing.'

"_Her powers consist of flight, super strength, invulnerability, and a seventh sense that alerts her to danger."_

_Rogue whistled—when her mother made enemies she didn't go about it half-assed. The invulnerability also explained why Mystique wanted her to absorb Danvers, invincible people where a bitch to kill._

"_So when do you want this done?"_

"_As soon as you commit her file to memory."_

"_Yah're the boss. I'll be on the next flight out to" She glanced down at the file and turned the page, " D.C. Hey Irene you want a souvenir? I'll bring you part of the Washington Monument." Without waiting for a response Rogue left the room and headed for the kitchen to grab some breakfast.

* * *

_

_Rogue stood in the shadows waiting for Carol to enter the house. The sound of a key in the lock brought Rogue out of her daydreams, she would have to do this as quickly as possible if she didn't want Danvers' seventh sense to warn her._

_A pretty young woman entered the foyer juggling her groceries in one arm while trying to pull the key out of the lock. A sharp cracking sound caught Carol's attention as she looked down and realized that she had broke the key off in the lock._

"_Damn it to hell! That's the third one this month!" She angrily kicked the door shut and winced at the sound of splintering wood. She sighed and made her way toward the kitchen, as she was putting her groceries down she felt a chill that she recognized as her seventh sense—she wasn't alone._

_The realization didn't do her much good as a pale hand clamped itself over her mouth. The pain was immense it felt as if her very essence was being ripped from her body. Carol quickly gathered her wits about her and made an effort to break free from the grasp, she was rewarded by a second hand the gripped her neck._

_The ripping sensation doubled and Carol quickly passed out. The second Rogue felt Danvers' body go limp she released the girl and stood over the prone figure contemplating its' fate._

_She had to hand it to the girl, it had taken almost fifty-five seconds for her to enter what Rogue called 'the coma stage'—most other people reached that point at around the thirty-eight second mark._

'You bitch!'

_Rogue sighed—she hated this part—corralling psyches wasn't fun and the longer she held into a person the stronger the imprint they left was._

'Yeah, yeah, you evil psychotic whore, how could you. You killed me. I can't believe you killed me. What did I ever do to you?'_ Rogue could tell her perfunctory_ _reaction to the girl's presence infuriated her, but to be quite honest it was the same with every person she absorbed so the self-righteous anger got old fast._

'Now let's be a good little psyche and get behind my mental shields, OK?'

'Let me think about that—NO! Fuck you, you evil…' _Carol trailed off lacking a suitable word to describe her murderer._

'Whore, bitch, cunt, bastard?' _Rogue supplied helpfully._

'Don't patronize me, you goddamned lunatic! I don't know what _the fuck_ I ever did to you to warrant you _killing_ me but I'm not just going to sit back and watch as you get away scot-free. You're going to turn yourself into Fury right now!'

_Rogue laughed the one was certainly more amusing than any other psyche she had imprinted, regrettably she was also stronger and was resisting Rogue's efforts at imprisoning her with great success. Usually pissing them off would distract them long enough to block them off from her conscious mind._

'Yeah and who's going to make me do that, huh?'

'Me, that's who!'

'You and what army princess?'

_The smug smile on Rogue's face was quickly wiped off as her body gave an odd lurch. Her right arm moved on its' own accord and began to attempt to strangle her._

'—The hell!'

_Rogue wasn't quite sure what was happening but as she tried to pry her right arm off with her left her right leg went out and tripped her. _

"_Oof oh, that's it bitch you're going down."_

_Rogue released her hold on the right arm and put all her focus on pushing back Danvers' psyche before she strangled herself to death._

'**I'll kill you! I**'ll kill you! I'll kill you…'_ Carol's voice grew dimmer as Rogue pushed her in the darkest depths of her mind that was reserved for the most troublesome of persons._

'Well…_that was different._'

_Rogue brushed herself off and absent-mindedly rubbed her throat through the cotton fabric of her turtleneck. She could already feel the bruises forming, she looked around for her gloves and pulled them on. At her feet Ms. Marvel was still in an undignified pile._

"_Bitch." She growled and dealt Danvers and swift kick to the head. Rogue was amused to note that her combat boots had ripped the tanned skin and left a gaping, bleeding wound. She laughed, "Not so invulnerable now are we?"_

'Now let's see, I've probably left all sorts of DNA evidence here while I was strangling myself so what to do, what to do?'

_Examining her surroundings Rogue noted a gas-stove. 'Perfect.' She moved forward but was distracted by the sound of crunching glass. Ms. Marvel had been buying a twelve pack of Coronas that were now all over the floor. With dread Rogue touched her back and peered down at her gloved hand—the black leather was shiny and wet from alcohol._

_Resisting the urge to kick the body again for the damage done to her leather jacket Rogue began to set the stage. In a mocking falsetto she chirped, "Officer, officer! There's a fire across the street, there's a young woman who lives there alone! Her car's in the driveway but I don't see her! I think she's still inside!"_

_A rag from the counter was doused liberally in the beer and set on the lit stove range where it caught fire. Rogue then threw the flaming cloth on the ground in the center of the broken glass and alcohol. She lifted Carol by her armpits and dragged her back into the foyer touching the girls hand to her bleeding forehead Rogue then smeared a bloody handprint on the door. Dropping Carol Rogue went into the kitchen seemingly unconcerned with the fact that it was on fire and grabbed a cordless phone._

_She dialed 911 and pressed the phone into Carol's bloody hand. More of Carol's blood was smeared on the phone and Rogue cocked her head examining the scene like an artist painting a portrait._

"_Looks good enough." Rogue cracked the door open slightly and chanced a glance outside. Carol apparently lived in a very quiet neighborhood because she could see no one paying any attention to the now slightly smoking house._

_She turned, satisfied with a job well done, and was heading for the back door when a thought hit her. "Whoops, almost forgot." Making one more pit stop in the kitchen she grabbed Carol's wallet from her purse and in the same mocking voice as before "I think she may have been burglarized! Oh what is this neighborhood coming to these days?"_

_Passing through the laundry room Rogue knocked the clothes on top of the washer and dryer off as she exited the house and almost absently mindedly she turned around picked up a rock and threw it through the window of the room she had just exited._

_In a low bass voice she said "There were signs of forced entry and Ms. Danvers' wallet was found missing. It is our belief that a burglar entered the domicile with the intent to steal any valuable goods and Ms. Danvers entrance prevented this from occurring, there was a struggle during which Ms. Danvers was knocked unconscious—" Rogue broke off and cackled to herself. Sobering quickly she made her way as unobtrusively as possible to her rental car four blocks away._

_The sound of sirens wailing in the distance put a smug smile on her face.

* * *

_

"_You completely failed in your objective. Have I taught you nothing?" Mystique pounded the table furious with her adoptive daughter._

_Years of living with Mystique had inured Rogue to her mother's temper tantrums so this latest display of anger had no effect on her._

"_I wouldn't say that Ah failed completely, Momma. Danvers is ina coma there's no way she's waking up anytime soon—if eva." The slow drawl made Raven's face tick of its' own accord. She hated when Rogue spoke with a southern accent which, of course, made it Rogue's favorite way to speak._

"_Speak English." Raven hissed through clenched teeth. Rogue smirked in response. Raven took a deep breathe and decided to try a different tactic._

"_I must say that your reluctance to kill this girl troubles me. I thought you were over your squeamishness." Rogue's eyes blazed with restrained ire. It was Mystique's turn to smirk._

"_I am not squeamish! You want the damn bitch dead? Fine I'll kill her! I'll leave right now and go to her hospital room and overdose her on a sedative, she'll be dead before you go to bed."_

"_We've been through this, I want you to use you **power** to kill her. Is that really so difficult to understand?"_

"_Fine my power. I got it. I'll go right now, is there anything else I can do for you Momma? Any other favors you need for me to do before we're even?" Rogue stood up so fast she upset the chair she had been sitting in. Only her mother could get her riled up with such little effort. As she left the room she could hear Irene enter it from a different door._

"_How did it go?"_

_Raven shot her a look before asking, "She used to be such a nice girl…what happened?"_

_On the stairs outside the briefing room Rogue shouted back her reply. "**You happened!** And I was neva nice!"

* * *

_

_Once again Rogue found herself standing in front of Carol Danvers' comatose form. OK this time she was dressed as a surgeon in scrubs so that was a little different, but still she was getting really tired of the view._

_Giving her surroundings another glance Rogue checked to be sure that no one was around. Satisfied that she was alone Rogue pulled one of her latex gloves off and mentally braced herself as her fingers skimmed Carol's face they twitched involuntarily and she pulled back, startled. _

_Danvers' psyche was much more active now that it was closer to its' body. Rogue easily pushed it back but it still gave her pause. If she absorbed all of Ms. Marvel how much more trouble would she have controlling her own body? She shivered at the thought of being a prisoner in her on mind._

_No she couldn't. Even if Raven would be pissed at her Rogue would rather face the short term disappointment than suffer long term insanity._

_Pulling her glove back on her still trembling hand she took a pillow from an empty bed, turned off the heart monitor and firmly settled it over Carol's nose and mouth. When she was certain Carol was no longer breathing she removed the pillow and returned it to its' former position on the neighboring bed._

_Rogue stood there another minute to be sure that Carol truly was dead before calmly exiting the room._

'**Now I**'ve killed you, bitch'

_There was no response and truly that was Rogue had been hoping for.

* * *

_

"_Rogue, you're just in time. I was sure you wouldn't make it back in time to meet our guest."_

"_Flight was on time for a change."_

"_Good, you can tell me how the mission went later. First this is Mesmero, he's an associate of Magneto's."_

"_Hello Rogue. It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard nothing but the highest praise about you from Magneto and Mystique."_

"_Charmed." Rogue turned to Raven "Where's Irene? I got 'er something."_

"_You can speak to Irene later, first we have another mission to plan." _

"_I'm gonna have ta have a talk wit' Mags, Ah'm really feeling ovaworked."_

_Rogue sat in her usual seat and turned her attention to Irene who was already seated._

"_Hey Irene, I brought ya back a lil' some—Ouch! Hey what the hell was that." Rogue reflexively grabbed her already sensitive neck and looked about for the reason for the sudden pain._

_Mystique wiped off a syringe and placed it on the table. "I'm sorry Rogue, but you were given two chances to terminate Ms. Marvel and twice you failed."_

"_Didn'…" _

"_Your orders were to absorb her and if I just pierced your skin with that needle you didn't."_

"_Wha' gon' do…?"_

"_Be thankful you're my daughter Rogue, had you been anyone else I would have had you killed without a second thought." Rogue's head lolled as motor coordination became increasingly difficult._

"_As such, I am only going to have Mesmero wipe your mind. We'll put you in a foster home and maybe you'll be given another chance to prove your worth in the future."_

_Rogue's protests died on her lips as she completely lost consciousness. The last thing she saw were Mesmero's hands coming toward her.

* * *

_

**BL-INK**

_Bright lights. A white ceiling._

**BL-INK BLINK**

_An annoying beeping sound._

**BLINK**

_A blurry figure. Close. Too close._

"_Welcome back to tha land o' tha livin', Sugah."_

"_Whaymei?" Marie licked her dry lips in a vain effort to get them to work._

'Where am I? Last thing I remember is a bright light and sirens.'

"_Marie, darlin', can y'all hear meh?" Marie blearily turned her attention back to the woman—God she was irritating._

"_Can ya hear meh?"_

"_Mrrmm."_

"_How are ya feelin', hon?" The woman, a nurse Marie supposed, bent over and helped Marie into a sitting position._

"_W-tr" _

"_What was that?"_

"_W-ter?"_

_The cogs in the nurse's mind turned furiously. "Oh, water! Y'all want some watah?"_

_She nodded. "Sorry dear, Ah can't give ya water jus' yet—but I can give ya ice chips hold on a minute Sugah." An eternity passed as Rogue took stock of her surroundings while she waited for the nurse to return. She was obviously in a hospital, but she wasn't quite sure what she was doing in a hospital._

"_Here ya go, dear." A spoon laden with ice chips presented itself before Marie. She welcomed the coolness into her parched mouth, eagerly melting the chips._

"_There y'are. How d'ya feel?"_

"_Better." Marie was startled at the sound of her own voice—it was dry and raspy, nothing like she remembered it being._

"_Wha' happened?"_

_The nurse's cheerful demeanor wavered for a moment before the annoyingly perky smile spread itself back in place._

"_You were in a car accident, sugah. A right awful one at that. Ya've been in a coma fo' a month now."_

_For some reason this struck Marie as being incredibly amusing. The amusement faded as she recalled something else._

"_Mah parents, mah brotha are they alright?"_

_The nurse's hesitation answered Marie's question._

"_Oh Gawd…" For one long moment Marie forgot to breathe, forgot how to breathe._

"_What happened?" She asked again._

"_It was late. Not very many cars on tha road, Ah'm told. You and yoah family were comin' back from a basketball game. Yoah's I believe. A drunk driver behind the wheel of a big rig ran a red light and t-boned your car. Yoah father and brother were on tha side of the impact—they died instantly. You and yor mother on the other side of the car faired betta. A couple happened upon the accident minutes later a fire had started and the gentleman risked his life to pull you out. Your mother…was not so fortunate…she had been pinned under the steering wheel he was not able to pull her free in time. The car exploded and you were rushed to the hospital. _

_You were lucky and only suffered a few broken ribs and trauma to the head and while you were in a coma for a month it could have been much worse."_

"_Can I be alone for a while, please?"_

"_Of course, dear. I'll just inform the doctor's you've awoken."_

"_Thank you—"_

"_Nurse Betty." Nurse Betty supplied._

"_Yeah, thanks."_

_Marie paid no attention to the sound of the door closing she was too deeply immersed in her thoughts._

'It's all my fault. It was _my _game we were coming from. _I_ was the reason we were in the car that night. …I killed my family…'

_Soft sobs and the steady beeping of the cardiograph were all that was heard from room 308 in Caldecott County Medical Hospital.

* * *

_

_**AN: OK **I've tried it _again_ and if this doesn't work I have no idea what I'm doing wrong. Let me know how this looks._


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own any X-Men characters appearing in this story, they are the property of: Marvel Comics, 20th Century Fox, Stan Lee and a whole bunch of other people none of which include myself. This has been written for purely recreational purposes, I make no money from this so please don't sue.**

"_Abruptly the poker of memory stirs the ashes of recollection and uncovers a forgotten ember, still smoldering down there, still hot, still glowing, still red as red."  
_-William Manchester

"_Memories may escape the action of the will, may sleep a long time, but when stirred by the right influence, though that influence be light as a shadow, they flash into full stature and life with everything in place."_

-John Muir

"_We are a people who do not want to keep much of the past in our heads. It is considered unhealthy in America to remember mistakes, neurotic to think about them, psychotic to dwell on them."_

-Lillian Hellman

"_Our memories are card indexes consulted and then returned in disorder by authorities whom we do not control"_

-Cyril Connolly

* * *

"_Marie, are you awake, sugah?"_

_Marie rolled over in her bed to face the entrance of her hospital room._ 'Oh Great—Nurse Betty is back and this time she has company—fun!'

"_Ah'm awake." Marie rubbed her eyes blearily, she knew they had to be red from all the crying she had been doing but the oft irritating nurse seemed to be oblivious to her plight._

"_Oh Good! Now Marie there's someone Ah want y'all ta meet. This here is Docta Jones—he's been yoah doctor since ya were brought in."_

_Marie examined the doctor, he was probably in his mid to late fifties, bald—although it looked more shaven than naturally bald. All in all he seemed to be a portly black gentleman who towered over the petite, plump, overly cheerful nurse. His great height and girth were belied by the gentleness of his manner._

"_Miss D'Ancanto, how are we feeling today?"_

"_Fine, suh."_

"_Really? So no complaints? No nausea, sensitivity to light or sound, fatigue, dry mouth, muscular pain or weakness of any sort?" The Doctor raised an eyebrow in a show of amused skepticism._

_Marie chuckled weakly for a moment before stating somewhat sheepishly, "Well, now that ya mention it, a lil' o' all the above."_

_Dr. Jones let out a booming chuckle before approaching Marie's side. "That is all to be expected of anyone who's been bedridden for a month—stare straight at my nose while I shine this light in your eyes—let alone someone who sustained serious trauma in a car accident—open your mouth real wide, stick out your tongue and say 'Ahhh"—we were all very excited when your brain waves showed increased activity today—now I want you to squeeze my hand with all your strength…good!—Although I must admit that we had feared you would have lasting brain damage from the accident. All the tests we ran indicated that—push your hands up against the resistance I will supply—sections of your brain were abnormally active for a person—Okay now push down—who was, for all intents and purposes, comatose."_

_He continued in this manner for quite some time, peppering Marie with questions as he continued to manipulate her frail body._

"_Well Marie, aside from being slightly underweight and weak you are in excellent health. With regular solid meals and a month of intense physical therapy you should be back in shape very soon."_

_Marie brightened visibly, she hated hospitals and couldn't wait to be released so she could go home. The smile slid off her face. Home? She no longer had a home…or a family—her parents and her brother were all she had in the world and now they were all gone._

_Where was she going to go? Not yet seventeen Marie was too young to live on her own…she didn't even think it was legal at her age. So where then? An orphanage? Marie shuddered at the very idea._

_The doctor's voice broke Marie from her inner musings._

"_Marie? Marie are you listening?"_

"_Huh? Oh, sorry sir. Ah just—well there's just so many things to do so many things that are up in tha air. What's gonna happen to meh? How am I goin' ta pay my hospital bills—or tha funerals? Mah Gawd, I have to make arrangements fo' mah family—" Marie was panicked, breathing in and out so rapidly she really wasn't getting any air. She was dimly aware of the fact that someone had shoved her head between her knees and was rubbing her back in small circular motions._

_Her breathing slowed as she regained control of both her emotions and her body. Marie also realized that Nurse Betty had, at some point, re-entered the room and was now sitting at her side._

_Calm now, she looked up at Dr. Jones who was standing at her other side._

"_Marie, I want you to see our Grief Counselor. She can help you through the mourning process and can also answer all your questions."_

"_Yah mean a shrink, rahght?" Marie asked indignantly, her voice cracked slightly. "You want me ta talk to a shrink. No way—Ah hate people who try an' get inside your head—" Jones cut her off before Marie could work herself into another panic attack._

"_Miss O'Riley is not a 'shrink', Marie. She is merely a certified counselor and her job here is to help you in the grieving process. She can answer your questions regarding your family's final resting place and the police investigation regarding the accident."_

"_Police?" Marie squeaked. "Investigation!"_

"_Rest now Marie. We'll talk more regarding this later." The doctor's soothing voice did little to calm Marie._

'Rest? _Now?_ He must be insane if her thinks I'll be able to _rest_ anytime soon. Wait, what's that? Is that a needle? I don't like needles. Where did it come from?'

_Dr. Jones injected the mild sedative into the IV and seconds later Marie was already feeling woozy. He handed the syringe to Nurse Betty, who put it back onto the tray she had carried it in on._

'Oh I see…Nurse Betty's a slick one. I'm gonna have to keep an eye on her—maybe two—she comes in and out without me noticing. Sneaky. I think I like her _much_ better now—"

_Marie's somewhat incoherent thoughts guided her into the care of Hypnos.

* * *

_

"_Good afternoon, Marie. Mah you certainly slept in today!"_

_Marie winced, the Nurse's cheerfully screechy voice was not a pleasant thing to wake up to, still her Momma had always tried to instill manners in her children and Marie was not about to dissrespect her mother's memory._

"'_Morning ma'am." Marie jumped, starled, when Nurse Betty made a sudden flailing gesture with her hand._

"_Oh, tush! None o' that now. I tol' ya ta call me Betty—Nurse Betty if'n you prefer."_

_Marie smiled weakly. "Well sugah, y'all know tha routine. Let's check yoah vitals…" Betty kept on talking as she went through the daily routine but Marie was no longer paying her any mind. Instead she allowed herself to sink back into chaotic and depressing thoughts surrounding her future and her past._

_Marie jerked her attention back to reality when Nurse Betty patted her on the shoulder._

"_Alright than, darlin' you an' Ah are done fo' now."_

"_Thank ya, ma'am."_

"_Ah'm jus' doing mah job, sugah. —Oh! B'fore I forget, today is Sunday and that means the Holbrooks are comin' to visit ya." The perky nurse paused significantly like Marie was supposed to recognize the name._

_Betty slumped in disappointment for a moment before a thought seemed to dawn on her, "Well if Ah'm not jus' about as useless as a one-legged alley cat—I neva told ya just who it was that pulled y'all out that car, did Ah?"_

_Marie shook her head slowly, already not liking where this was headed._

"_Derek and Donna Holbrook came upon the accident minutes after it happened. The fire had jus' started and Derek risked his life to pull ya out. Ever since then they've come to visit you every Sunday afternoon and Wednesday evenin' driving the whole hour an' a half that it takes to git here from Meridian, where they live."_

"_Wow…" Marie had no idea what she was supposed to say to that bit of information. What could she say? 'To be quite honest ma'am I find that news kind of creepy' just didn't seem like a polite reaction._

"_So Ah'll get ta meet them today?"_

"_Sho' nuff sugah, they usually get here around three so you got a bit o' time ta kill."

* * *

_

_All too soon three o'clock rolled around and Marie found herself propped up in bed surveying the Holbrooks._

_There were older than she had expected, in their mid-to-late forties. The man, Derek, had close cropped hair and a handlebar moustache, he wore pressed khaki pants with loafers and a button down plaid shirt…he didn't seem to be the type to pull people out of burning cars but then again Betty had said he was retired military so maybe the 'hero shoe' fit. The woman, Donna, was noticeably older. She had long, wavy, dark brown hair and a worn face that spoke of inherent gentleness._

_Both adults seemed to quiver with barely restrained excitement. Evidently they were thrilled to see Marie up and almost about. Marie decided to break the silence before it got awkward._

"_Ah suppose I owe you an eloquent, heartfelt thanks but I'm not really all that good wit' words so Ah guess y'all will have ta settle for heartfelt. Thank you both for saving my life."_

_Donna almost rushed forward before she restrained herself. "It was nothing dear, really."_

"_We only wish we could have helped you all, Marie."_

_More silence. Marie amused herself with the thought that these people probably found it easier to talk to her when she was unconscious. _

"_So…yeah…"_

_The Holbrooks looked at each other for a moment then both spoke at once. "Marie, we were wondering if perhaps you wouldn't mind—we wanted to know if you want to live with us."_

_Marie gaped at the couple stupidly at a loss as for what to do. Donna was undeterred. "We know that you don't really have anyone now that your family has passed on and we couldn't bear the thought of you having to go to an orphanage until you turned eighteen—"_

"_Oh, wow, I don't…jeez, I really don't know what to say to that."_

"_Well, it would mean the world to us if you said 'yes'. It's probably really strange for you but we've become rather fond of you over the past month, and we never could have children…"_

"_Could Ah think about it, Mr. Holbrook? I'm not saying no, but it's still a lot to process."_

"_Of course dear. And please call us Donna and Derek."_

"_Thank ya kindly, ma'am."_

_Derek moved closer to the bed's side and placed a fresh vase of flowers on the side table._

"_We're glad to see you recovering Marie. If you don't mind we'll come back and visit you again next Sunday?"_

"_That'd be nice, thank ya again, Derek."

* * *

_

"_Good morning, Maire!"_

"'_Mornin' Miss O'Riley."_

"_Now Mare, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Susan?"_

"_Sorry ma'am."_

"_Well I guess I could let it slide just this one time." The pretty, young redhead smiled at Marie before donning a more serious countenance. "Now on to the serious stuff. We have been meeting twice a week for the past three weeks and you and I have talked about anything and everything except for where you are going to go once you are released._

_Have you given any further consideration to Mr. And Mrs. Holbrook's offer?"_

_Marie sighed. Truth be told she didn't want to go live with the Holbrooks but she didn't want to go to an orphanage even more. The mere thought put a sour taste in her mouth._

"_Ah have,"_

"_And…?"_

"_And I've decided ta accept—but only until Ah've finished high school. Afta that…" She trailed off uncertainly._

"_That's great Marie. I was hoping that would be your response. I will alert the Holbrooks immediately. You'll be released within the week and on your way up to Meridian."_

'Meridian here I come.'_ Marie thought unenthusiastically.

* * *

_

"_Hey, ya must be the new girl everyone's been talkin' 'bout. It's Marie isn't it?"_

_Marie looked up from where she sat on the railing of the front porch of her new 'home'. She had thought herself to be alone but still, there before her stood a young man, about her age with short, dark brown hair and longish sideburns whose presence shattered this illusion._

"_Everyone? Mah Ah've forgotten how quick news travels in small towns. I'm sorry but I don't know yoah name."_

"_It's David. David Sawyer. Ah live jus' a couple houses up tha road."_

"_Well It's nice ta meet you David."

* * *

_

"_Tell meh something 'bout yourself."_

"_What d'ya want ta know?"_

"_Oh I dunno. Anything. Surprise meh."_

"_Okay. Let's see, mah father was a executive in a company. His job moved us around a lot. Ah was born in Caldecott County, south of here, but I haven't lived there since Ah was six. My family and I moved all around the country and just recently returned to Mississippi eight months ago. We were supposed to be here to stay." Marie paused for a moment pushing back the desire to start crying for her lost family again. Two months since the accident and the pain was still raw. _

_"My mother was a stay-at-home mom an' she loved to come to all our games—me and my little brother's—she loved to cook and she had a beautiful voice. Mah brother, his name was Louis, played soccer. He was a funny kid, although annoying as younger siblings often are, he could always make me laugh."_

_Marie paused again this time lost in happy memories. A rare thing for her recently. David gently pulled her back to the present._

"_And you? Tell meh something about yourself."_

_She turned to the boy seated next to her and smiled. "Me? I love catfish and horseback riding. I'm not too bad at basketball though Ah am a horrible dancer. And my deepest, darkest secret desire is to…" David was hanging on every word leaning in close as Marie was barely speaking above a whisper. "Travel." She finished, laughing at the crestfallen expresiion on the boy's face._

"_Travel? Where do you want to go?"_

"_Out there. Anywhere that isn't here. I've always wanted to see tha world. Ah have eva since I was a lil' girl."_

_David watched the girls face as she gazed out onto the horizon. He frowned. "Is it really so bad for you here?"_

_She turned her attention back to him. "No and that's what troubles me." Before David could even begin to open up that can of worms she stood and gestured for him to do the same. "Come on there's something Ah want ta show ya."_

"_What?"_

"_My plan for the future. It's up in mah room so if ya wanna see it yah're gonna have ta get up."_

_David stood and smiled. "Lead the way mah Lady. Ah always look forward to tha next great adventure._

_Donna's work at the piano followed the pair up the stairs.

* * *

_

"Marie? Marie, darlin' can you hear me? Chuck said you could and that talkin' to ya might help but seeing as how sitting here talking to myself makes me feel like an ass I'm gonna have ask that you wake up so that I can _pretend_ you're listing to me."

Rogue blinked in confusion and as the light hit her eyes she hissed in irritation.

"Lo-logan?"

"Hey, kid. How d'ya feel?"

"Turn off the damned light an' Ah'll be a sight betta."

Logan snorted in amusement and dimmed the light. When he turned back to Rogue she was once again asleep.

* * *

**AN:** Thanks to my reviewers who provided me with cronstructive criticism. I'm currently looking for a beta reader so if anyone is interested me contact me, my e-mail address is in my profile.

Also I was wondering if any might be interested in reading the story of Rogue's life in a more complete form as the only information you really have is what Rogue can recount and it really is more indepth in my mind. It would be a shame if I were the only one who knew all the plot intricacies. If any are in support of this idea it will be written once this is finsihed.

On another note...Woo Rogue is finally awake and I can stop calling her Marie. I hate that.

**Next Posting Date: Your guess is as good as mine. Sorry. (Although you might be glad to know that the number of reviews I get for this chapterwon't impact the next posting date, I am currently at an impasse as to which way I want to take this story.)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own any X-Men characters appearing in this story, they are the property of: Marvel Comics, 20th Century Fox, Stan Lee and a whole bunch of other people none of which include myself. This has been written for purely recreational purposes, I make no money from this so please don't sue.**

"_The past is what you remember, imagine you remember, convince yourself you remember, or pretend you remember."_

-Harold Pinter

"_The light of memory, or rather the light that memory lends to things, is the palest light of all. I am not quite sure whether I am dreaming or remembering, whether I have lived my life or dreamed it. Just as dreams do, memory makes me profoundly aware."_

-Eugene Ionesco

"_Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to Truth, but not its twin."_

-Barbara Kingsolver

"_Memory cannot exist without endurance of the things perceived, and the thing perceived cannot remain where it has never been."_

-William Hazlitt

* * *

"How is she Logan? Have there been any changes since you started to speak to her?"

"She—"

"_She is awake and would like to know what she is doing in the Infirmary._"

Rogue pushed herself into an upright sitting position. She allowed herself a brief smirk of amusement at the gaping shock on both Wolverine's and Beast's faces before the pounding sensation in her head could no longer be ignored.

"Oh, _God_, mah head is killin' meh! What in the sam hell happened?"

Hank and Logan shot each other uncertain looks—they had been expecting Rogue to wake up with _more_ memories not with less.

"What do you remember Rogue?"

Rogue groaned, her head felt like someone was dancing offbeat flamenco on it and these two wanted recitations!

'_Weren't the X-Men supposed to be nicer than the Brotherhood?'_

She froze as the implications of her thought settled in. She had never been a part of the Brotherhood had she?

No, she sighed with relief, she had never been officially affiliated with them but she had worked extensively for both her mother and Magneto in the past—Rogue looked up and became aware that the two hairy men were still waiting for a response.

"Last thing I remember was being in the Danger Room—no wait—the Professah's office…where y'all ambushed meh." Rogue glared at the two men present, her features dark, riddled with accusations.

"So d'ya remember flipping out on us and storming out of the room? It was really impressive, darlin' 'specially the part where you fainted—"

"Passed-out." Rogue tersely interjected.

"What?"

"I _passed-out_. There was no fainting. I **don't** faint."

"Sure thing, kid. You _passed-out_ for no apparent reason and earned yerself a bed in the Infirmary for the past…six or so hours." Rogue had no real response to that.

Beast took advantage of the lull in conversation and moved closer to Rogue's side, removing a penlight from his pocket he began to shine the bright light in her eyes. After examining both eyes for pupil responsiveness he leaned back and said, "Well, Rogue you do not have a concussion and aside from a couple bumps and bruises you are once again the picture of physical health. I will notify the Professor of your status change and we can, er," he faltered, not quite sure how to make mention of the previous discussion in a manner that wouldn't upset the teen.

"Continue our discussion? Maybe you could hold off on that until later, Beast. I've still got a killer headache and right now all I want to do is sleep." She shot Hank the biggest set of puppy-dog eyes she could muster and grinned at him when he nodded.

"Great! We can talk after classes are done for the day…who is covering for my classes anyway?"

"Popsicle and the Ruskie both skipped their classes today to baby-sit the runts."

Rogue frowned. She really didn't want anyone who didn't absolutely have to be involved to know anything about the little…_incident_.

"Oh well, that was…_sweet of them. Tell _'em I said thanks."

"Of course Rogue. And if you need anything don't be afraid to ask. I'll be working in the lab next door since I've finished educating the eager young minds of the Institute for today."

"See ya later, kid. I'll ask 'Ro to bring you some food down later." Logan may have missed the supremely irritated look that Rogue shot him as he exited the room but Beast certainly didn't and he was surprised by the amount of malice that seemed to be infused in the glare. In the past the fuss she had kicked up over being called a child had been mocking, good-humored anger.

Perhaps Rogue was hiding a bit more than was initially suspected. Either way he would notify the professor and keep an eye on the security cameras in the infirmary while he was tinkering in the lab.

Rogue sighed in relief—she was finally and blessedly alone! Or rather as alone as she had ever been since she'd gotten her powers.

A bitter chuckle issued, involuntarily, from her throat. Marie had though it crowded in her mind _before_ with a half dozen mutants and twice that number of norms residing there Rogue wondered how she would have handled more than thrice that amount.

'_A psychologist would have a field day in my mind. Of course I don't suppose its very normal to have multiple personalities in your mind and not be insane.'_

'…_Well mostly not insane.' Rogue amended with a grin._

Her humor faded quickly though, because of her moth—**_Mystique_** Rogue now found herself in a rather delicate situation. Should she stay with the X-Men and continue to live at the Institute as Marie D'Ancanto?

Rogue wrinkled her nose in disgust. Marie was a child—young and prone to losing her head in heated situations. It was shameful for Rogue to recall her role in recent events as Marie. Her reactions to her solo flight of the blackbird, the attack on the mansion, and the whole Liberty Island incident in retrospect made her face grow hot with embarrassment and shame.

She snuggled deeper under the covers as she turned her attention inwards. Thanks to Mesmero Rogue not only had the psychic residue of numerous people dwelling in her mind she also had two dominate personalities that needed to be merged.

Pushing into the recesses of her mind Rogue entered a meditative trance and examined her mindscape where she found the memories of the psyche Mesmero had created. Theoretically it was all very simple, the false memories of her 'childhood' would be bound the same way she would any psychic imprint allowing her true memories of her past to fully regain their place, the memories from after she woke up from her 'coma' could be left untouched as they were events that had actually transpired.

Of course the impact emotionally and psychologically remained to be seen as those aspects could not be as neatly bound and filed away.

Any further progress in her mind was barred by the unfettered psyches of people she had absorbed in the past two years. No one had thought to give Marie any aid in corralling the fractured personalities dwelling in her mind and as a result the constant chatter in her mind had been harrowing to say the least.

'_Time to rectify that.'_

Rogue closed her eyes and began to build mental walls around the psyches. She started with the humans—David and truckers who expected a bit _too_ much after giving her a ride—they weren't particularly forceful presences, just irritating ones. Finishing those shortly she braced herself as much as she could before attacking her mental version of Erik Lehnsherr with an incredible amount of gusto. His presence was the second largest in her mind and he had exerted this power over her to constantly feed her anti-human propaganda complete with memories of concentration camps to illustrate his points. It had quickly grown tiresome.

But sadly for Erik while he was more than a match for Marie Rogue had more training in the art of shielding her mind and thusly made short work of him, though not before he managed to project a few more choice memories.

Wolverine and Storm were more of a problem.

Not that they were resisting her, just the opposite really, both wished to help her and although they didn't quite understand everything that was going on they were willing to be sealed off like the others had been but it was not something she wished to do to either of the two people as she was fond of them both and being placed in a shield wouldn't be a pleasant experience for them.

In the end she decided to leave them free until they gave her a reason to imprison them.

Moving on in her mind she delved deeper to see the damage the psyches had wrought in what was essentially her absence. She was pleased to see for the most part that the barriers she had erected and left unmonitored for over two years were still strong and keeping her well-protected although she suspected Mesmero had a hand in this as well because the imprints of both Destiny and Mystique were also blocked—_she_ had trusted the two women implicitly and thus had never reigned their psyches in. Still she was glad that she wouldn't have to even come in contact with their psyches

Further still into the darkest reaches of her conscious mind Rogue had finally 'reached' the area reserved for the dangerous unruly and powerful psyches. Their strength was evident as these barriers were barely reigning in the destructive imprints. Rogue sighed and was truly thankful the shields had held up for as long as they had she sat back and made herself comfortable—she was very much out of practice when it came to repairing these types of shields, it was most likely going to take far longer than it would have only three years ago.

Hours later she became aware that she was being shaken awake. She sighed in irritation and allowed herself to be pulled from her mind—the new shields were only three-quarters of the way done but the rest could wait until she took care of whoever saw fit to raise her from her apparent slumber.

"Good evening, Sleeping Beauty. Good of you to finally wake up…we've been calling your name for the past five minutes."

"Hey Bobby, Piotr."

""_Privet_ Rogue, we have brought you some chicken soup. Jubilee and Kitty made it to help you feel better."

Rogue paled significantly before asking "Does it have Ororo's seal o' approval? I _really_ don't want to be here any longer than necessary."

The boys laughed and as Bobby moved closer to place the tray on Rogue's lap he said, "This soup has the sanction of both Storm and the Wolverine so based on that fact alone, I think they bought it somewhere else and are trying to pass if off as their own."

Rogue laughed and tentatively placed a spoonful in her mouth. She was surprised to find the taste palatable, let alone pleasing. "I'd say your theories are correct, boys. This tastes an awful lot like Panera chicken soup."

Bobby and Piotr exchanged high fives. "Alright now we can make Jubes eat her words. 'Home cooked with lots of love' my ass!"

"As much as I appreciate the gesture y'all should have let those two know they didn't have to do this, I'm not at all sick."

Piotr immediately latched on to the statement and ran with it. "So why are you here then? Were you injured in the Danger Room?"

Bobby quickly followed in the same vein of questioning. "Is that why training was cancelled this morning? All the adults looked really tense all morning—were you hurt? You look all right now. Did you absorb Logan?"

It was a testament to how out of practice Rogue was at being Rogue that she was caught by such amateurs. _'I've been trained by psychotic terrorists to never break under questioning and two 18 year old boys caught me in under a minute. God I suck.'_

Rogue stalled for time by filling her mouth with soup. Swallowing slowly she quickly began fabricating a lie.

"Well—" A long clanging sound caught the attention of all the room's occupants. They tensed involuntarily until the voices from outside filtered in.

"Shh, they're gonna hear us!"

"_I'm _not the one who tripped and made three copies of myself!"

Rogue, Piotr and Bobby all shared identical grins at the sounds coming from the corridor.

Colossus shifted into his metallic form and made his was toward the entryway as he noted wryly "I believe we have been infiltrated by eight year old children." Once activated the door slid open with a faint whooshing sound and Piotr took advantage of every inch of his seven-foot height to tower over Artie and three identical Jamies.

"Uh…hehehe, hiya Mister Pete!" The children let out nervous chuckles—they knew very well the lower levels of the Institute were off limits to them.

Rogue smiled despite herself, _she_ had never been a 'kid person' but as Marie she had grown quite fond of the tiny troublemakers so she was willing to put up with them. Besides they had provided, unknowingly, an excellent distraction.

"Now why are you two sneaking 'round down here? Y'all know very well that playing in the lower levels is forbidden!"

Jaime stuck out his lower lip petulantly. "We're not playing! We came to see you, Miss Rogue. Artie said that Kitty said you were real sick an' that that's why you didn't teach class today."

"Yeah so Jaime wanted to come and see you and _I_ said that I remembered the codes to get down here so we snuck down to bring you a card so you'll get better faster." Artie chimed in.

The gruesome twosome shuffled forward and handed Rogue a homemade card that bore the heading "Get Well Soon!"

She accepted the card with a wobbly hand, it was truly pathetic that such a simple gesture could affect her so deeply. A sad testament to how little honest love she had ever received in her life—love she thought she had found in Mystique and Destiny, love she also thought she now had in the Institute…would they ultimately betray her as well?

Clearing her mind she smiled at the mischievous children.

"Well now, you both went through all that trouble for me?" Two enthusiastically bobbing heads confirmed her statement. She motioned for the little boys to come close, when they did she whispered to them with a huge smile on her face. "Were Bobby and Piotr that bad?"

"Hey!" Piotr and Bobby protested vociferously.

"We go through all the trouble of bringing you a bite to eat and this is the thanks we get?" Bobby crossed his arms in a huff. "I thought you southern belles were supposed to be all polite and charming. Come on guys we're going to go have some fun without mean, old Rogue." Without waiting for the others Iceman left the room dramatically.

'_Older than you think.'_

Artie and Jamie turned to Rogue and said their good-byes. Piotr watched carefully as Rogue whispered something to Artie who promptly grabbed his partner in crime and darted out of the room. He made a mental note to give both children a wide berth for a while.

"Have you finished? Should I take the plate back to the kitchen?"

"That's be great thanks Piotr"

"It's not a problem." The gentle Russian smiled slightly.

"**EEEEWWW aw man that's gross!**"

Rogue chuckled softly at Bobby's screams.

"Do I even want to ask?"

"Well now, I can't be sure, but I _think_ that Artie might have jus' given Bobby a wet-willy."

"And of course you had nothing to do with it."

"Of course."

"We'll come visit you in bit, Rogue."

"I'll look forward to it."

Shaking his head softly the tall young man gathered the tray and exited leaving Rogue again alone, but not for long as seconds later Jamie darted back into the room giggling manically at whatever he saw over his shoulder.

"Miss Rogue, I forgot something."

"Did you now? Well what did you forget?"

Jaime pulled a familiar rubber tarantula from his pocket and placed it on the table beside the bed. "Billy wanted to keep you company."

Rogue smiled. "Tell Billy that I appreciate his staying." Ruffling the boys hair she sent him back out of the room to catch up with the others.

Once she was sure there would be no immediate interruptions the smile slid off Rogue's face. Settling herself back under the covers she allowed herself to be swept into the tangled mess that was currently her mind the best way to avoid the questions of the X-Men and Junior X-Men would be to feign sleep as long as possible—besides she still needed to finish repairing the walls imprisoning the rest of the psyches.

* * *

_**Next Posting Date: Hopefully within the next two weeks. But I wouldn't bet my life on that.**_

_**AN: Not a lot to say really. Sorry this chapter took so long but I really didn't like any of the finished versions and still don't like this one, it feels really awkward. That said I might edit this at a later date but I just wanted to post something for now. Also I might be posting the prequel to this story sometime soon. Or I might just finish this one before I post the other. Whatever.**_

_**Let me know what you all think and let's hope the next chapter won't take as long. The action should start to pick up.**_


End file.
